It’s International Women’s Day, a day designed to celebrate women. I’ve seen so many posts telling women how they can do anything, have anything, have it all. And I want to tell my daughters this – it isn’t true.
I don’t mean that they can’t be who they want to be or they are not as capable as men. That isn’t it at all. I have two amazing daughters who have already done things that blow me away. But they can’t have it all. And telling women that we should is a huge part of the problem.
The first problem is that I don’t need anyone – men or women – telling my daughters how they should define all. Does it mean having a thriving career? A healthy family? Both? Does it mean kicking ass at work and still having an immaculate house and well-behaved children who get straight As and do volunteer work? Does it mean spending your free time volunteering in the community and serving those around you? A lot of us, even women, seem to think this is “all” and spend time killing themseves trying to make it happen. But I’ve learned that my “all” is different at different stages in my life. And that unless I define my “all” I can never achieve it. So girls, don’t let the rest of the world define what “all” is for you.
Second, don’t lose yourself trying to have it all. I did that for a while. I forgot who I was while I was trying to balance the “all” everyone else told me I wanted, I should have. I spent time really unhappy as I chased the all. And I became a stranger to myself. It has taken a long time to find me again. Don’t sacrifice yourself in your quest to have it all.
Finally, and this may be the harshest part, you can’t have it all. But that is okay. No one can. If you decide to balance a career and family, something, likely both at times, will get less attention, less of your all, than it deserves. You will feel guilty about work sometimes because you have to stay home with a sick kid. You will feel guilty about family because you had to work and missed a performance. You will feel badly that your family is eating take-out or something from a box. Then you will feel like spending the time to come home and cook meant you left a project at work unfinished. You will feel bad for working late and you will feel bad for leaving work early. Why? Because somewhere along the way we as women bought into the lie that we have to have a successful career that gets our full attention and a family that lives in a immaculate house with gourmet meals and we spend time making sure other women see and know it. Along the way women have become some of the biggest perpetrators of the lie of “all.”
Girls, you can’t have it all. But you can have it amazing and wonderful and flawed and even a bit broken. It’s okay if your family sits down to eat take-out pizza more times than you had hoped. The important thing is that you are together, talking. It’s okay if sometimes you aren’t at every single school event because you are working, helping support your family and hopefully doing something about which you are passionate. It’s okay if you choose to stay home with your kids and not pursue a career. And it’s okay if you choose to passionately pursue your career and not have have children. It’s okay if you do both. But it’s not okay to let other people decide for you, to let other people define your all, and to lose yourself in the process.
It’s National Pancake Day! Because of my allergies and our desire to be healthier, we needed a new pancake recipe. Here is what I came up with (everyone – even the kids – loved it)! TIP: Make a double batch and put the leftovers in the fridge for quick breakfasts!
2 Cups blanched almond flour
2 tablespooons zero calorie sweetener (e.g. Truvia) or Brown sugar baking blend
1 teaspoon orange blossom honey (optional)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon almond extract
2 tablespoons fat free plain Greek yogurt
1 tablespoon cinnamon
Mix together with your electric mixer. Cook in nonstick pan with vegetable oil spray on medicine heat. Use ⅓ cup of batter per pancake. Makes 8-10 pancakes.
Because of various health conditions, we have to limit sugar and gluten exposure at our house. But we never want to miss chocolate cake day! Here is a recipe for chocolate cake and chocolate frosting with no extra fat or sugar.
2 cups blanched almond flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
½ to 1 cup zero calorie sweetener (e.g. Truvia or Splenda) or brown sugar blend (e.g. Truvia or Splenda Brown sugar blend)
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
Mix the wet and dry ingredients in separate bowls. Then combine in the electric mixer until fully combined. Bake at 350•F for 30 to 35 minutes. Cool completely before frosting.
½ -1 cup zero calorie sweetener (start low and add more to your taste
1 teaspoon vanilla exract
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
When cream cheese is soft, beat with electric mixer until it started to get a fluffy texture. Add sugar and vanilla and beat slowly at first, moving to medium-high speed. Add cocoa powder the same way. Refrigerate until cake is cool.
Our health coach passed this recipe on to us. You can switch the toppings up. Just make sure you are getting the right amounts of lean protein, veggies, and healthy fats.
1 cup Grated Raw Cauliflower or 100 g (2 Greens)
1/4 cup Egg Whites from the carton (1/8 Lean)
1/2 cup or 2 oz 2% Reduced Fat Three Cheese Mexican Blend (4/8 Lean)
1/8 tsp garlic powder – optional (1/4 Condiment)
1/8 tsp basil – optional (1/8 Condiment)
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp or 1.5 oz 2% reduced fat Mozzarella cheese (3/8 Lean)
1/2 cup Italian diced tomatoes or Rotel tomatoes, canned – less than 5 g of carbs per serving or an approved pasta sauce such as 1/4 cup Bella Vita Roasted Garlic Pasta Sauce (1 green)
Measure out 1/2 cup diced tomatoes and puree in blended or chopper. I just pulsed for a few seconds in my little chopper. Set aside. Or you can use an approved pasta sauce such as Bella Vita roasted garlic pasta sauce. It also comes in spicy tomato, tomato basil, and meat flavored.
Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Place parchment paper on a cookie sheet and spray lightly with cooking spray. Combine grated cauliflower, egg beaters, cheese, garlic powder and basil until mixed completely. Spoon mixture on prepared pan. Use the back of a spoon to thin out mixture (or your hands) and form a circle about the size of a dinner plate without the rim. The thinner the crust the less chance of it being soggy. Bake for 25 minutes. Carefully flip the pizza crust over using a spatula to lift all edges of the crust off the parchment first. Bake an additional 10 to 15 minutes until edges are really brown and crisp. Mine are usually burnt around the edges but it won’t taste burnt. Let cool.
Add tomato sauce and cheese on top. Broil until cheese is melted about 5 to 10 minutes. If you are making several cauliflower pizza crusts like I usually do, you can put the cooled crusts in gallon size Ziploc bags. I usually can fit 4 to 5 pizza crusts in a Ziploc bag. No need to wrap each one in foil. They won’t stick to each other. When ready to eat, take it out of the freezer as you would a normal store bought frozen pizza. Top with sauce and toppings. Bake for about 10 minutes at 425 degrees or until cheese has completely melted. I can usually get 4 to 5 pizzas from one head of cauliflower! Enjoy!
Tortillas: (two servings – two large or 4 medium sized tortillas)
1 cup grated cauliflower
1/4 cup egg beaters
½ cup 2% reduced-fat shredded cheese
1/8 tsp Southwest Chipotle Mrs. Dash (optional)
Bake at 400°F for 20 minutes per side, until golden (but still soft and flexible)
°Bake or grill your favorite lean protein (chicken, beef, or fish/seafood)
°2 Cans crushed tomatoes
°1-2 bell peppers, chopped roughly (optional)
°1/2 tsp salt
°1 tsp garlic powder or 1 clove of garlic
°1 tsp onion powder or 3 tbsp diced onion
°Blend in the food processor until smooth
°Put 1/2 cup of sauce in the bottom of an oven safe baking dish.
°Fill shell with meat, roll, and place in the pan.
°Cover with 1/2 c. more sauce and sprinkle with low fat or fat-free Mexican or cheddar cheese.
Bake at 400°F for 10-15 minutes or until cheese is starting to brown.
This makes wonderful green beans to add to a healthy meal:
Sauté 10 unsalted almonds, sliced, in 1 tsp. of trans fat-free margarine.
At the end, add 1 clove of garlic, minced. Sauté until you smell the garlic.
Add 1 cup of green beans per person. Sprinkle with 1 tsp. of salt. Add 1 tsp. trans fat-free margarine. Add 1 c. fat-free or low-fat chicken stock. Cook until beans are done and stock has reduced to a thicker sauce.